Being gay in Greensboro, North Carolina, is pretty simple: The LGBT community is small, so people like who they like, explained Robin, a year-old black lesbian who was taken aback when she relocated to Atlanta a few years ago. For starters, Atlanta women were into labels. Further, those labels limited socially acceptable couples to one type — a butch and a femme. Heteronormative gender roles are a signature of lesbian circles, influencing everything from body language to hairstyle. In the love department, dapper studs date sultry femmes, according to decades-old cultural rules that have a particularly strong foothold among black LGBT women. More masculine-presenting black lesbians are embracing the idea of romance between butch women.
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I was puffing on a cigarette outside of a lesbian club, looking all bleary-eyed and angst-ridden when an older dyke, probably about fifteen years my senior, came sauntering on over to me. I sighed. None of my friends will talk to me because I drunkenly hooked up with one of their exes. Had I blacked out and gone hiking?
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