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Yue Qian does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. In fact, this is now one of the most popular ways heterosexual couples meet. Online dating provides users with access to thousands , sometimes millions, of potential partners they are otherwise unlikely to encounter. It is fascinating to see how online dating — with its expanded dating pools — transforms our dating prospects.
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“I’m Not a Bigot Because I Prefer a Certain Kind of Person”

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In a speed-dating study conducted at Columbia University in , Asian men also had the most difficulty getting a second date. My parents grew up financially unstable in China. They look back at it and laugh now, but my mother recalls having to share one bowl of rice for dinner with all her siblings. Whenever the rice got too low in the bowl, they would add water to make the illusion that there was more food. Everything I want, I get on my own.
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If you exclusively fancy white girls, that’s not a ‘preference’, that’s racist

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This conversation, with one of my friends who is a white man, happened only a couple of weeks ago, but took me back to an adolescence peppered with similar microaggressions. The medium of porn, and the endemic racism that threads through parts of the industry is a very complicated conversation. Many elements of our romantic and sexual choices are influenced by society. A study by the University of St Andrews found that exposure to online media pushes our attraction closer to stereotypes of masculine and feminine extremes. Whilst we could definitely spend some time unpacking the social and cultural connotations attached to those physical attributes, their histories are so distinct to the history of race, it feels undignified to waste word count even explaining it.
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